Top five field recorders, ranked by how much they look like tribbles assimilated by the Borg

Look, this is the future we asked for. You want personality, and my personality is Star Trek references.

We're back! Or, well, I'm back. I had to do some thinking on format and content for this newsletter, then decided anyone can do a hyper-professional, deeply-considered vertical-oriented Content Thing with calendars and business plans. It takes sincereity to absolutely wing it, and I have an easier time with that.

I went looking for a field recorder. Both for recording random sounds, and for pretending I'm ever going to get in on this podcasting gold rush. They come in every shape and size, from sleek one-piece to the behemoth that looks like an original series Star Trek tricorder had babies with a difference engine.

So far, I'm on the fence. Here's what I think of the top field recorders on Amazon based entirely on how much they look like Borg tribbles by their product pages. I will not be linking them. They haven't earned it, and I'm not even sure my Amazon Affiliates account is still active after more than half a decade.

1: Tascam DR-05X Stereo Handheld Digital Audio Recorder & USB Interface Bundle with Movo"Deadcat" Windscreen and 32GB Micro SD Card

I question the wisdom of naming a product "deadcat," but here we are. This is where I got the tribble idea from. Look at that thing. That's a tribble. Kill it, you fool!

2: Zoom Digital Multitrack Recorder, USB (F1-LP)

Isn't it cute? Not at all like a tribble. This has a strong calculator watch vibe I dig. I feel like I could count on it.

3: Zoom Digital Multitrack Recorder (F6)

What the fuck

That's a whole borg cube someone put in a hydraulic press. You will be squashimilated.

I know it's all about the camera angle and it's not really a hulking beast. Those are XLR ports. XLR plugs are not that big. This probably doesn't occupy much space.

But the look! Camera angles are tricksy.

4: Zoom H1n Handy Portable Digital Recorder Bundle with Movo Lavalier Clip-on Omnidirectional Condenser Microphone

Those microphones are about to be banished to the Phantom Zone.

5: Tascam Portable Studio Recorder, Black, 7.5 x 2.4 x 1.2 inches (DR-05V2)

This one doesn't look anything like a Tribble, and the aesthetic is distinctly Temporal Cold War arc with all the cool-looking future Federation ships.

They all look like Borg because I'm no gatekeeper. Please don't assimilate me.

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